Let me tell you a story.

It has no title. Just a simple reflection I had today.

Before anything else, I need to tell you—working at my first employer, a startup from Singapore in Yogyakarta, was a defining moment in my life. That job shaped me. It changed me.

I started as an intern, and before I had even finished my mini-thesis, they hired me full-time. At the time, I thought:
"If I hadn’t taken this job, I would have been a naive person with too much ego—rushing to build my own startup while knowing so little about it."

But this story isn’t about my job.

It’s about culture and change.

The Team That Felt Like Home

I bonded with my team—dot.io.

We worked overtime together, we struggled through big projects, and that’s how we connected. I wasn’t Javanese, I didn’t understand their language, but somehow, we just clicked.

Then another Product Manager joined—a more experienced hire from Jakarta.

He was brought in to shadow me on the project. He tried to blend in with the team, but it wasn’t working.

Our Tech Lead pulled me aside one day and said something that stuck with me:

“Mbak, masnya dari Jakarta… ini yang selalu saya takutin dari orang yang datang dari Jakarta. Budaya kerja yang mereka bawa itu budaya Jakarta. Gak cocok, mbak, sama budaya kerja Jogja.”

("Miss, he's from Jakarta... This is what I always fear when people from Jakarta come in. The work culture they bring is Jakarta’s work culture. It doesn’t fit the way we work in Jogja.”)

I asked him, “Tapi saya kan dari Bandung, mas. Saya bukan orang Jawa. Kadang saya masih harus translate pakai Google dulu buat ngerti bahasa Jawanya.”

("But I’m from Bandung. I’m not Javanese. Sometimes, I still have to use Google Translate to understand Javanese phrases.”)

He shook his head, “Beda, mbak. Beda aja. Mbak kan baru lulus, mba belajarnya sama kita. Masnya sudah terbiasa dengan budaya kerja Jakarta. Otomatis akan kebawa ke sini juga, itu yang gak cocok, mbak.”

("It's different, miss. Just different. You just graduated, you learned our way of working. He has been working in Jakarta for a long time. He naturally brings that culture with him, and that’s what doesn’t fit.”)

It took me months to fully understand what he meant.

Culture Clash & The Unspoken Divide

There is a massive difference between how people work in Jakarta versus Jogja.

I can’t fully put it into words. It’s not just about speed, efficiency, or structure. It’s something about the moral compass.

Jogja’s work culture is deeply rooted in community. It’s about watching out for each other, working as a collective, reaching a common goal together.

Jakarta’s work culture?
It’s every person for themselves.

My boss was Singaporean—very structured, very disciplined. I learned a lot from that work ethic, and I’m thankful for it. But in the middle of it all, I saw how different work styles, leadership approaches, and expectations could create an unspoken divide in a team.

The Hardest Breakup I Ever Had

Eventually, it was time for me to leave.

The Tech Lead, one of my closest teammates, sat down with me for a coffee.

"Jadi mbak, hmmm. Selanjutnya gimana, mbak?"

("So, miss... what’s next?”)

I knew exactly what he meant.

We had built something great together, alongside two others. A team that felt like home. A startup in the making. A vision we shared.

But I answered, "Kayaknya saya disuruh balik buat sidang dulu sama lulus, kalau nggak nggak sidang-sidang. Susah juga multitasking project gede sama bolak-balik Bandung-Jogja untuk bimbingan."

("I think I need to go back and finish my thesis defense. Otherwise, I’ll never graduate. It’s been tough balancing a big project while traveling back and forth between Bandung and Jogja.”)

He nodded. Then, he asked again:
"Ohh iya mbak, setelah itu gimana mbak?"

("Alright, but what about after that?")

I told him, "Setelah itu, akan saya kabarin mas. Lanjut cari kerja di Bandung atau balik Jogja."

("After that, I’ll let you know—whether I stay in Bandung for work or come back to Jogja.”)

But that’s not what happened.

Less than a month after leaving, I started Banient.
Two months after defending my thesis, I got a job in Jakarta.
Five months later, the Tech Lead reached out to me again.

I felt a deep sense of loss when I told him, "Saya di Jakarta, mas. Masih banyak yang perlu saya pelajarin dulu."

("I’m in Jakarta now, sir. There’s still a lot I need to learn first.”)

His reply was simple:
"Ohhh, yowess. Sukses terus yaa mbak..."

("Oh, alright. Wishing you all the best, miss.")

And just like that, it was over.

It felt like the worst breakup of my life.
Not with a lover, but with a team I loved, a dream I believed in, and a version of myself I wasn’t ready to let go of.

I cried. I told my best friend. I still miss them to this day.

Holding On to What Matters

Fast forward two years later.

Tonight, I was sitting in a donut shop, taking a break, looking at myself in the mirror.

I swore I wouldn’t let the city change me.
I swore I would hold onto my values, my vision, my identity.

But since dot.io, I have never found a team quite like that.

And I don’t blame circumstances.
Because I know, deep down, I should have been the one to create that again.

But I didn’t.

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s this:

If you find great people, if you build something worth holding onto—don’t let go.
If you find a team that feels like home, don’t walk away.

And if you find someone you want to keep around...
Do something about it.